Holidays are tough for us, especially when we are new. I remember my first, I got sober in October, and my holiday celebrations actually started every year in January and rolled right through to the beginning of the next. What I am trying to say is that I didn’t know any other way to have a holiday with out drinking, so when I stopped I was lost. I had to stay very close to the rooms and my new found fellowship. I went to 3 or 4 meeting’s a day, I even stayed in marathons for hours, just trying to get though another day. I always say that we suffer from “cosmic loneliness,” it’s a common theme for us, there is never enough anything to soothe that feeling, it’s heavy and alienating. This a part of our isolation and disconnect with God. Holidays are still hard for me, but they have become so much better with surrounding myself in the arms of the 12 steps, the rooms, people like yourselves, and the belief that the Power shines through if I just have a conscious contact with the sunlight of the spirit.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014

How far is far enough, how much is too much, and how hard is hard. I have had to answer all of these questions when it comes to my sobriety, my willingness, and my reaching out to others. There have been many days I thought the journey was too long, I can’t walk on. Days that seemed to difficult to continue in the pain of illness and depression, and I asked myself, do I want this? The answer to these questions were not easy to find, I had to dig with all of the strength, and the tools given me. We can’t go to far to be able to give back, we can’t give up on the GIFT, we can’t trun our backs on those who struggle to recover, no matter how much they frustrate us or invade our space. The ultimate goal of the steps is to have a spiritual awakening, and to be of maximum service to others and to ourselves. I must remember to remember those who came before me , walked the long journey, over came the pain and depressive moments, and they answered back, to the question of, “do I want this,” with a resounding yes, I am willing to do what it takes. They brought me a message attached to a gift, of a Power Greater Than Me. They had my number and thanks for the call.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014