Sobriety is not always easy, there are just those days that are hard to find that peace. The days where you can’t shake off the feelings of loneliness, and not feeling a part of. I can search and seach for something to distract myself, but at the end of the day I just have to surrender, and understand that it is just a part of me that I have to balance. These days are the days that the 11th, and 1st steps, are the most important to me, I must continue to find conscious contact with my higher Power, and honestly ask for willingness. I have to do that 10th step to just see my part in the ungrateful state that I am in. I know many will say, “just work with others,” the only glitch there is that I can’t transmit something I don’t have at the moment. I know that I am one of thousands that suffer from depression, and it is a real and debilitating state of mind, but I also know that I can work out of it, with the help of the steps, not everyone can. I must always remember that depression has killed many of us, and if I don’t stay spiritually fit it might kill me.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014

The first thing to remember is to be honest with ourselves. The last thing an alcoholic on the verge of relapse to remember, is to ask for help. You hear so many come back, if they come back, is that I didn’t call anyone for help. We seem to forget that we can not do it alone. Why is it that when we come in asking for help that it is there for them, but that strange mental blank spot appears, when the urge presents itself. Here is were the selfish part comes in, I want what I want, and I really don’t want to be stopped. Then we come back and tell the biggest lie of all, “I forgot,” when the truth is “I don’t want to be stop.” The new man or woman must be made aware that relapse starts way before we take that drink. As it says in the Book “alcohol is a subtle foe,” cunning, baffling, and so very, very powerful, without help it is to much for us. The first and last thing is important, we are all here to help. Thank you for helping me stay sober one day at a time. God bless the persons who still suffer.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014