I have been taught that love and tolerance is our code, I must always ask myself if I am living by this code. Adherence to this principle is severely necessary to carry the message, not just to the newcomers, but all those who need help. It is so easy to dismiss each other, because of differences in ideology, race, religions, social status, and many other reasons. The lack of this tolerance is destroying life as we know it, I was so guilty of this intolerance, but when the 12 steps and 12 principles were introduced to me, a beautiful metamorphosis began. My entire life depends on finding tolerance; it has been a search which has taken me into the depth of my core beliefs. I had to change all of my thought on how I approached myself and others, I suffered and suffer from contempt that I must surrender, and seek the Power that I need to carry me away from that selfish intent of only tolerating what I can control. Intolerance is in its very nature a controlling issue, loving is completely the opposite of intolerance, but our human nature wants to manage how we love, and love is not manageable. The Power does not manage its love it just let’s it exist so we can learn tolerance.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014

When I was performing, the venue could be filled with people who were enjoying themselves, but there was always that one you couldn’t reach. I would try as hard as I could to arouse something, which would make them feel, something other than indifference. I would walk away with an empty feeling, that I was not good enough, and I did it incorrectly, why because I suffered from low self-esteem. Esteem follows us around, low esteem is self-pity, and high esteem can be self-righteous, maybe ego. I forever took on the responsibility of others feelings and not realizing, that this was another way I was trying to control others, and my environment. When I found sobriety, I was instructed I was powerless; of course I could identify that with addiction/alcoholism because it a hold on my life, but it has taken years to understand that I only have the power to choose, and make choices that are based on some form of a spiritual principle. That’s when I make a choice to let you be as you are, and not be responsible for anyone else choice or feelings they may have. For me now, I know that I have to let go of everything, except what is in front of me. As long as I only choose on the premise of that moment, I am only responsible for the action I take right then and there. If I can live on spiritual intentions and not self-based intentions, things work themselves out, not on my time, but on the time allotted to me by God’s grace. Sometimes it may sound like I am really spiritual, but I am here to honestly say I am NOT; I only have freedom because the Power is good to me. I know that I am one of the most humanly fallible people I know, and I only have God’s grace today. Tomorrow I must search for Grace, and I must let go of my controlling nature and realize that I must care for you and maybe I will learn to care for me. Thank you Father/Mother of Light and undefined Grace and Stillness, May I always stay still long enough to hear the whisper of your GRACE, Amen.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014