I never saw how disrespectful I was until I looked backed. The behavior I displayed I never thought of me as being disrespectful, I was raised in the south, and was taught to display respect. However when substances were introduced my first psychic change occurred. I begin to have contempt for everything, this was around 11 years of age, and my view of the world became distorted and misguided. My world had always centered on me, but it became more so, I only saw what affected me immediately, no real or true meaning, the world was just lying, and I was a victim. I couldn’t see the effect I had on others around me, only what I manipulated and I manipulated to my benefit, and my benefit only. How much more disrespect can one have? When I fueled this attitude with more substances, it became more self-centered and selfish. It never mattered except attending to my needs, and the lack of respect was insidious and damage piled up. When I surrendered, and started working the program of recovery, in doing the moral inventory, I started to look at things about myself that I had never looked at before, but that first inventory helped start the change enough to grow. However when I stared working with others, especially those who were drinking, the truth of my behavior was right in front of me. I saw how I dismissed others feelings and thoughts, just like those who were now in front of me and in my face, the awareness of this vision was astonishing yet humbling. God reveals his presence to me by working and talking with those who need help, and I only ask that hopefully I can serve and help. Sometimes it’s only to be available so the revelation of what my Higher Power has done for me and that it’s using me to mirror myself in you.
Peace Out: M copyright 2004

This morning I was walking and just concentrating on how and where I was placing my feet. Having had several surgeries over the past 20 years, my balance has been compromised, I Continuously have to be aware of where I walk, take the next step, and praying and thanking my Higher Power for the ability to still be upright and mobile. This is basically how I have approached sobriety and program; there are so many potholes on this road. There have been so many things that have come across my walk. I know that if I am armed with the correct tools to help me avoid falling from a missed placed step, I’ll be okay. There are moments were I misplaced, my feet, but I haven’t fallen yet, and I know that I have had that arm of God, keeping me upright. I also know that I have to look down the path and see where I was going to step the next moment. Everything for me today comes back to the principles and steps of this program, I was told to practice these principles in all my affairs, and this is a mandate for me. There have been so many moments where the road was uneven but God’s road crew makes the journey a bit smoother, as long as I walk behind the Angels of mercy that lead me, and are pushed by the Angels that watch my back. I will continue to stand, walk, and avoid the potholes that come up, as long as I continue to take the Power with me.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014