As I was walking today I was struggling when the trail became steeper, I promised myself that I would not stop no matter what. I had to tell myself to not look at how much the incline increased, so I just looked down and started to only look at the way I was walking, and not concentrate on the struggle, but at how I paced my walk at that moment. I stopped searching for the finish line but only on the journey. This is how I have to conduct my life and when I am struggling, I only concentrate on my pace and my perception on what’s in front of me. The destination is not the goal only how I conduct my walk, and my perception of the journey. There are so many who I have watched meet so many challenges, and walk with integrity by putting their head down and just meet the moment and not the situation. Sobriety is so much more than just getting dry, for me it’s been about changing how I walk moment by moment, I can’t look at the inclines only the blessing of being able to walk towards something and not run away from me.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014

When I wake up and open my eyes, my first thoughts are what time is it, and the next is, wow one more day. I don’t always go to prayer immediately, because I have to override the next thousand thoughts. Somewhere in the middle of those thoughts, the brakes screech, and the thought becomes “God please center me in your light”, and in that moment the stillness starts to filter out all the noise, and chatter in my head, I have asked or said to God, why me. I really don’t know why I have survived this long, overdose, heart attack, stroke, car accidents, organ transplants and the list goes on. Today I can see where the Power lifted me over those “rough patches”, but I’m still left with the “why me” question. One of the hardest things to do in sobriety is learning to stay still, and wait for God to show me, his will for me. Even when things are presented and they seem correct, there are always those moments of fear and doubt. When I do ask God “why me”, God reply’s “, why not you” it’s a gift.
Peace Out. M