On Sunday morning October 8, 1989 I was taken to a meeting of Cocaine Anonymous that was in a room that was a part of Brotman Hospital in Culver City, CA. It was in that meeting I surrender to the fact that I was an Addict and Alcoholic, it was something I had been aware of for a long time but I did not surrender until then. It was something I heard out off one of the readings, entitled “Spiritual Experience”, the quote was “There is a principle which is bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance – that principle is contempt prior to investigation”, For whatever reason it just brought forth my real attitude towards life, which was my judgmental nature about everything. I had been in the state of mind where I had contempt for everything, including any Spiritual concepts all that meant anything to me was the lie I was living. I became just open minded enough to see the real me, a true addict/alcoholic. This was where my judgments had led me down the path as I call it, “the rabbit hole”. Today one of my problems is still judgment of people, places, and things, and this can have problems, and create situations, that cause me to pull myself back, and investigate where my judgment was wrong. The blessings are that I have been given information, and tools to redirect my thinking and actions. It’s this defect of judgments that does make me ignorant to the real truth, if I let myself rush to assuming things that aren’t really true. I can truly say that my rush to judgment’s and contempt are better, but I can judge my own self into contempt, and keep myself in the ignorance of the truth.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014

From the time we were children, we were taught that life revolves around some kind of work. As a species work is survival, so is reproduction, so is social interaction, all these things teach us how to thrive and function as people, but none of these things happen without work. Work is the most vital piece of our existence; at first it was hunting to find food and shelter to protect us from the elements and predators. It seems though that those of us who cross the line into Alcoholism and Addiction have become reluctant to work, all that mattered was to pursue our self-abuse, but we lose sight of the fact that active addiction to substances is the hardest job on the planet. There has to be constant vigilance to figure out how to feed the beast of our disease. However even in the face of destruction we run from the responsibility of renewing our original lessons of some kind of work ethic. When the program dictated to me to find some kind of faith and then work towards that faith, working with all of the tools of the program, reintroduced to me the concept of working towards survival, I was a dead man when I came in the doors. With the lessons learned, they have helped me survive several challenges that I have had to work through; it was all as a result of the work I had learned in the arms of my Higher Power and the ethics of work to live by. It’s given me life, love, happiness, sadness, courage, perseverance, hope, and a faith that I have to work for. Working towards the Spiritual side of my being is the hardest work I have had to do, because no matter how hard I try, I never reach a goal, to acknowledge the principal of progress not perfection, makes me aware of just how much of a journey life is. The happy destiny all centers in the health I have to have emotionally, joy and all the rest is dependent on my maintaining a spiritual presence in my life and reaching for the closeness not the distance between the Power and I. It is all based on actions, not assumptions, guidance, not withdrawal, service, not personal gains beyond my personal needs, my gifts, not my losses, and Light not darkness, these things are based on me and God’s will for me. I know that many of my prayers have been answered; all by my willingness to be open minded enough to let love in. May I never again be jaded by the contempt of my mind over the love of my heart, everything is based on the love I can give and not the love I take. Thanks.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014