I remember when I was a kid my parents always said, listen to your elders, as I’m  sure most children have. As I grew things started changing, I started to act on things that I thought were right for me, substances came into play, politics started changing, music, art, sex, the whole world seemed to be a lie about the past, and a new reality was in sight. I started to think that what ever was in the past had no value, this is a trait that humanity has in common throughout history. We are young, angry, tired of being told what to do, we rebel, we drop lessons that were passed on to us, we stop believing. We start to indulge in all the things that were taboo, in spite of what our elders had shared or warned us about. This is when my self-will started shifting in overdrive, but in the defense of youth, the older generation stopped communicating, with the younger generation.

Now that I m in the senior years, I realize that our responsibility to youth is to learn how to communicate information in a fashion that the young can understand. We have a wealth of knowledge to pass on but we also have to keep learning and observing of changes to insure that the younger men and women will understand, what the message is. I know that I cannot allow myself to become stubborn, and self-righteous, dogmatic,  believing that I can’t learn new things. At the age of 41, I had learned to stand on the shoulders of men older and younger than me. I see now that wisdom is just about experience and lessons learned. I must stay an old dog that can learn new tricks, but it’s not that my downfall was because I wasn’t learning, or taught by older teachers, but the teachers I choose, were not necessarily the best choices I could have made. They were not persons who had good judgement or values, my idols were false these were teachers with no real spiritual truth, for the most part, but all in all, this was my choice, my responsibility, I had to learn,  understand, and know this fact.

In my years of this journey in recovery, I have had great teachers, that gavin me a foundation of steps and principles that guides me into light and truth. Men who through their experiences, that had taken them down the gates of insanity, have so tirelessly shared wisdom to help me escape from that seemingly hopeless state of mind. I pray daily that I never forget that I must have to be open minded enough, not to scare off the younger brother, with the closed minded thought, that I can’t learn or communicate to the younger man as long as I know his language,  and also listen to what he needs to hear so I can help. Service to all is the key, if God delivers to me those that need my, help I must learn how to carry the message of depth and weight in spite of where time has placed me. Age is a state a reality of this realm, wisdom is a state of agelessness. Peace out. M

Taking back character defects and insecurities is a constant effort, just when you start to think that you have diminished some, they are staring you right in the face. they seem to attack you under a different disguise, or form, meanwhile they’re the very same misguided thoughts, and actions, that you thought you had surrendered. This battle with giving away the power and then taking it back, thus picking up the cross and then canceling it, ( this term is not original for me, I read it in a book and paraphrased)! I have so many times ask the power to take things from my heart, and sometimes they are lifted, but my will overrides the presence of the higher consciousness, to the will of the lower thought. then as I maneuver down the avenue of disastrous thinking, I start to fallback on the foundation of what I have been taught, but I have already done the damage to my soul.

Once the action of reverting back to the defects that brought me down in the first place, the act of trying to repair and amend what you wronged within yourself , means I must once again I have to  look at those things that I don’t like looking at. Those selfish, dishonest, fears that will destroy the good, if I don’t! When we have truly walked in recovery, returning to the scene of the crime is very, very, unpleasant. All those issues of insecurity,  doubt,  fear, anger, will rage until I work this out with the power,  that I had asked to take away them in the first place, this is where I must humble myself and seek forgiveness, for the battle with me.

For me I must continue to always be aware of those things that will bring resentment, this is the seeking, I have no choice, or I do destroy me, and any soul I have, and I have always been a soulful guy, and no matter what I do have a deep groove, if you don’t believe me ask those who grooved with me, my musical brothers and sisters who made music with me, and for those who have brought me to a new groove.  Peace Out. M