This is one of the hardest emotions to understand and comprehend, it’s one of our first emotions and instinct. For some ungodly reason we usually complicate it with sex and money and possible power. Wars have been fought over it, countries have risen and fallen because of it, families have been torn apart by it. I am starting to believe that love is about purpose, compassion, tolerance, innocence, and a deep human need to connect to others. I know for me I am learning that love is how  I am dealing with my emotions without anyone responding to my affections on any level. I also am being taught that in order for to respect the gift’s I have received I must find humility, faith, which must translate to love. The old quote “love thy brother as thy self”, presents a question that do I love myself and you! I have come to a place that I love my life just as it is, in spite of all of the challenges that have been presented which in turn helps me to find more acquired love for all things that I see around me, it has not always been that way, but I am eternally grateful for that. I pray for that continued vision. Peace M

I spoke with a friend today who is facing surgery  for a tumor in her inner ear, she is great soul and a  good friend. This led me to call her to just share some experience with her about things we experience, these are things I have learned in my life after 8 different times in O.R.”s.

When you face any surgery,  just the fear of the act of invading your body is a scary deal, then there,s the fear of being put under sedation, (I didn’t have that fear due to my past history with those things) but that brings the feeling of loss of control. Then if there are risks involved like paralysis of any kind, loss of motor skills, body functions that we have been accustomed to since birth, blindness,  being left unable to take care of ourselves, and  a myriad of emotions and fears. These are all valid feelings and very normal, but just for the sake of healing alone we must face these fears no matter what, before the surgeons ever begin to operate in order to go into that O.R., so our bodies can begin the healing process, before the action takes place. Our bodies are capable of extraordinary things as long as we incorporate, MIND BODY AND SPIRIT.   I think all spiritual teachings are telling humanity that this is the path to healing ourselves from many afflictions and illnesses.

When I was diagnosed with liver cancer, cirrhosis, and dying kidneys, my first reaction was ( well you finally did it Michael), then the next thought was okay what is the next move. The doctors laid out a clear plan of action that I must take, and due to the fact that I had learned how to follow directions when I entered the program of recovery from substance abuse, I just did what I was told or suggested to do. This played in to my mind set, in dealing with what was in front of me and stay out of assuming, or thinking what was in the future and deal with the now, and not to regret what I had created in the past. I had to just trust the process, and the specialists, and take the action I need to stay focused and centered, just have faith. Tall orders I know, but these things got me through being rejected 6 times until they found a good match.

Then came recovery and that was a bitch, I didn’t expect what came next, it was a long 1 & 1/2 years to start feeling good again. That took an event where I fell down a flight of stairs and severely injured myself. As I laid on that floor in tremendous pain in every part of my body, I started a conversation with my higher power, I clearly stated and requested that I either find healing, or that I would rather be dead,I lost every ounce of gratitude for my life being saved by someone else’s life being surrendered that saved my own. What happened at that moment I started to gain the courage to fight for myself, and lifted myself off that floor with a burst of strength that I can’t tell you where it came from except from deep within. From that moment forward healing started to happen and it was deep and amazing, that cry from that floor was a prayer that truly was answered. This started a series of events that were beyond my belief, all I know that I had spent 18 months of pain I never new existed, fear of things that I never knew I had and a depression that spiraled out of control, and that kept me in misery that I had known once before, when I was at the depth of my addictions.

Now I said all of this just to witness to anyone who reads this that our mind, and spirit must all work together to over come anything that should befall us. I am not saying we can defeat death, but we have a great deal to do with extending our life. It is said that GOD only helps those who help themselves, that can be taken in many ways and I heard thieves use it to justify their actions., but I think it is saying to us is that we do have the ability to assist the divine power that is within us to heal somethings, it just takes reaching within until we can’t anymore. I hope my experience helps someone other than myself, but I do know what I say is my truth. May God be with you or may the force be with us all. Peace M