I read that the human heart will not be put off, it needs reconciliation, forgiveness, and assurance, and I know that, from my experience of my life. Without it I probably would not have survived my indiscretions, my abuse, and my behavior, my heart need to be forgiven for all the mistakes I have made. I needed to know that there was forgiveness, and a loving energy, to resolve my self inflicted torture, that I had lived. Life had come to that point in time that I had dug a hole so deep that I could never have lifted myself out of , without the help of a Greater Power. Up until that point I had no idea what my true self was. I was made up of an array of characters , that were created to fit all the different situations that I had been involved in throughout my 41 years prior. I know now what a  gift it is to know my life, as I know it today, but that knowledge came with a price!

I never valued this gift before now, it all seemed so useless, that is what self will gave me. A distorted view and twisted values that led me down the hole. There are so many things that I must acknowledge that brought me to me, the biggest one being Grace from the forgiving Energy. Another is the practice of spiritual principles, and the help of selfless people, who took the time to carry a message to me, and love me. For all those things in unity brought the reconciliation,forgiveness, and assurance, that has carried me in this journey. 79 years ago today there was created a design for me and countless others, who have been delivered one moment at a time to a new way of looking at the world from the perspective of people with mended hearts. For this I am eternally grateful and forever indebted to give back what I can never repay.  Thank you God and the 12 steps. Peace out M

When I wake each morning I am never sure how that day will go, but I have grown to know that I do have choices to make. Their not always the choices I would like to make , but sometimes the presentation is subtle, and sometimes stark. but I do know that I need direction to put my perception in the proper perspective, to make the best choice possible. I wish I could say that each day was wonderful, but I do know that each day is as it comes.

Today I started reading a new book which is a daily reader, that puts my mind in a more orderly place, as I started to read everything I read was very profound, but from a point of view that I have issues with. However over my life in recovery I have learned to be more open to hear the message that’s being presented, without judgement, and hold off on opinion before I hear what is being said. This has always been a problem in the past, “contempt prior to investigation”, which I totally understood when I first heard it, as a matter of fact, it was one of the first things I related to in recovery, on my first day. This is when the lesson’s started, 24 some odd years ago.

Since then I have become more tolerant, and pliable, to hear messages from many sources. In my opinion the journey only starts with one step, and when I took the step to surrender to the power that are the teaching’s, that are rooted in spiritual principles no matter what the source’s are, and if I am truly am trusting and open, I will hear the music of the universe speaking. I know that many will disagree, and believe that it is only one way, but I can’t help believe that this, is rooted in vanity, and self-righteous pride. For me to say that anyone’s belief is wrong  as long as they are rooted in moral and universally sound principles, would in my opinion put me on the wrong side of God’s will. I have learned that tolerance and love is what I need more of, and those are the two things I should make my daily choices.

I think these two choices are hard for us as humans to understand, and accept, because of our need to make our point of view valid. This goes against our will, and need to be right, and our promptness to judge and tell the other person they are wrong because they don’t believe the way I want them to. This is pure ego and pride, also fear that if I am wrong, then there is something missing in me. I am not trying to be right, I am trying to do right, and I have grown to know, that there are many more evolved ideologies, and principles, then I can even begin to understand, but I have come to know for me, that the universal presence of a power greater than me does do things for me that I can’t explain, in my limited consciousness and shallow mind, and that things have and will be revealed to me If I just seek, trust, clean my side of the street, and try to be of maximum service to the best of my ability. This is what I have been taught, and try to live everyday that God let’s me open my eye’s and kick starts my days. Peace out. M