There are so many things that I have had to walk away from, and I truly know how hard this can be. I am currently trying to learn another lesson of this; there are things that come with each day. Those things that we love or want, creates many anxieties, and infiltrates of all our senses, we need to connect and learn to disconnect; this is survival on the deepest level. I have had to walk away from the loss of family, the loss of my wife and the possibility of my children, the loss of some of my dearest friends, loss of lovers, loss of my love for drugs, and alcohol, and the list goes on. This is life on its most sincerest level, and it happens to all of us, life is about letting go of the things we love the most, but even with all those things, I have learned to just keep walking forward, I have to walk with or without you, it’s seldom by choice, it’s by necessity. Survival instinct is the greatest, of them all, it over rides all the rest of our natural instincts.
We can see there are those who have sacrificed for another at great cost, but at that moment the decision must be unbelievable difficult. The sacrifice of one, for the good of others, I have to ask how many make that choice truly. This is where courage is a supreme ideal, there are many who have made this honorable choice, but those are a minority considering the billions. That is why we have deep admiration towards them, because the instinct of survival is number one, everyone knows this thought. For me the ability to walk away has become a natural experience, I am not sure if is courageous or cowardice, neither is the choice it is just instinct. I do know that my survival is by Grace only, I often ask why, God has let me survive, sane and sober, and it’s not for me to challenge the will of that power. I have just learned that sometimes I just have to walk towards it, and sometimes I have to walk away from it, which is it today? I also have learned that a Power Greater Than Me helps me live with that choice, if I just sit still, so I can walk towards it, or away from it. I have to have that Light to guide me in the darkness of that moment. This is another lesson that the infinite wisdom, of all those who have gone before me, with the Power of the Spiritual principles give me, their courage to do either one.
Peace Out: M

For so many years of my life I was always looking from the inside out, always thought that what was out there, was what I need. Constantly reaching for the outside to fix the inside, but there was nothing that filled the empty hole, that hole always needed to consume more and more and there was never enough. It’s been a hard lesson to learn that solutions to my problems are never solved by looking outside, they have to be solved by my inside view looking even deeper inside. I have to stand past the thought of me to hear the silence of the stillness, of the space beyond space. This is not a metaphor for me this is true, when that inside thought collides with everything that it thinks it knows, it has to hear the truth, that whatever I think is, really is not, whatever happens in this moment is now gone to the next. I must not plan the next thing because there are millions of things that can change, this I know deep inside, but living without planning is virtually impossible, living without expectations is impossible, living without assuming is the hardest of all, because we even assume that we will wake tomorrow. Here lies the denial that still exists within me, even if I say that I am living in the trust of the Power, why am I having expectations? Without expectations there is no life, or even the next moment, this is a mind bending thought. Living the concept of “one day at a time” is truly the principle that I must remember, I was blessed with today it is all that I do have, and tomorrow is now another day that I will have to look inside for the deeper thought which stills from within, I pray that I have the presence of the Power to guide me into where ever I’m supposed to go, that is what Faith truly is.
Peace Out: M