As time goes by, facing this disease on a daily basis, you’re looking in the face of those who feel hopeless. I can see their pain and confusion staring at me, looking for directions and help. I can only listen first, I must remember where I was in the beginning, if they are still in their cups, I proceed easily and must refer back to my reference guide, the Big Book. When they talk awhile, after hearing their position on things, I try to start focusing on their drinking and mine, here is where the work begins; I must share how I drank, what happened, and what it took to change me. I have worked with many wet drunks over the years, by choice; I need these people to be reminded of what I am. In their faces and stories I see me, in that moment of despair, bewilderment, confused, angry, frightened, and hopeless, searching and not even realizing I was searching. The more I am approached or I approach those who are in this place, the more I am given freedom, and awareness of and from my Alcoholism. There are so many that have passed through my life and each have given me so much more than I can repay. I have had many disappointments only because, I had expectations, and the lesson is always to just be here to serve those who can use my help. It is a heart break to see someone destroying themselves, and in spite of my efforts they can’t surrender. This program has explained that I am powerless over others, and there situations, all I can do is hope to plant a seed, it’s up to them to cultivate, and grow. I know that I am only sober by Grace, and I can hopefully stay by Grace. All this was given to me because of someone that had experienced hopelessness, and found hope, and they planted that hope in me. To be hopeless, is to be without faith, and to be without hope is to be lost, and to be lost is terrifying, there is no worst feeling, you’re walking with no direction. When I found this hope was in the willingness to walk in a Spiritual direction of principles, the next part was to take actions to learn and utilize these principles in all of my life. Today I don’t have many material possessions, but I have more love and wealth, than ever before, and this was given me to me through hope.
Peace Out: M

When I first came into recovery it was highly and severely directed to take commitments, and be of service. I did this with some reservations; I took on any commitments selectively up to that point. Anything that I thought was not beneficial to me; I would manipulate my way out of it, or just make up some conveniently reasonable lie. So when I was suggested to do things that were inconvenient, it was hard to see the true intent behind that suggestion. Within a short time, I started to meet people and became part of the community of AA. It led me into a new reality of friendship, and service. As time progressed, this one word, commitment became larger, leading me to learning more about consistency and becoming accountable. I started to become more aware of what accountability to others meant, this would become an integral part of my life. By me doing esteem-able acts, it would change my esteem for others and me. My commitment to myself, and to others has become, the foundation of my life, if someone asks me for help, and I say “what do you need”, if I make that statement, I need to understand that I am making a commitment, and if I do, I have to be willing to go to any length for this person if they are willing to be helped. The other realization about commitment is, when I pray and ask the Great Spirit to help relieve me of a conflict that I have, I must commit myself to do my part to change through action, If I neglect and just pray, and do nothing towards the actions, of honoring the commitment I have entrusted to that Great Spirit, nothing changes. Learning to commit came to me through surrendering myself and my will to the bigger will of the commitments I have made.
Peace Out: M