This morning was beautiful; I woke up at 7:15 am, sat up on the side of my bed, and had a conversation with the Power Greater than myself. I thanked him for all the amazing things that I have been graced with, and asked, to be carried a message to help me deal with me. I got dressed and left for the park to walk and then go to the gym, as I walked I saw beautiful green grass, blue sky, magnificent mountains, a cool breeze, people walking by with their dogs, and most said good morning as they passed. I forgot to say that, another part of my conversation was asking that I can learn to love, that I can present love to those I encounter, and that I learn to be loved. Learning how to be loved is a significant part of my prayer, it has taken almost a quarter of a century for me to learn that there is truly love everywhere, if I can just let love in. There is a song entitled “looking for love” the verse afterwards states “in all the wrong places”, how much truth that is for me? My entire life I have looked for love outside of me, but today I know that love is all within me if I let it be there. Once I became open minded enough to find a faith, that I am given all the love I want if I just let myself see it, feel it, experience it, and except it. It has always been fear of losing love that kept me for having it, when I let all the beauty that surrounds me fill me and drive out the fear of loss, I begin to find true love, which is learning to give it, and have it without conditions of loss or gain, and just let it be as it is, and come as it come.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014

On Sunday morning October 8, 1989 I was taken to a meeting of Cocaine Anonymous that was in a room that was a part of Brotman Hospital in Culver City, CA. It was in that meeting I surrender to the fact that I was an Addict and Alcoholic, it was something I had been aware of for a long time but I did not surrender until then. It was something I heard out off one of the readings, entitled “Spiritual Experience”, the quote was “There is a principle which is bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance – that principle is contempt prior to investigation”, For whatever reason it just brought forth my real attitude towards life, which was my judgmental nature about everything. I had been in the state of mind where I had contempt for everything, including any Spiritual concepts all that meant anything to me was the lie I was living. I became just open minded enough to see the real me, a true addict/alcoholic. This was where my judgments had led me down the path as I call it, “the rabbit hole”. Today one of my problems is still judgment of people, places, and things, and this can have problems, and create situations, that cause me to pull myself back, and investigate where my judgment was wrong. The blessings are that I have been given information, and tools to redirect my thinking and actions. It’s this defect of judgments that does make me ignorant to the real truth, if I let myself rush to assuming things that aren’t really true. I can truly say that my rush to judgment’s and contempt are better, but I can judge my own self into contempt, and keep myself in the ignorance of the truth.
Peace Out: M copyright 2014