On this day we honor our fathers. As I sort through the memories of him, I have thoughts of both happiness, and sadness.  My dad was quite a character, and a charming fellow, he just attracted people. Most all that he met, loved him and I never came across anyone who didn’t. I spent a lot of time with him after the age of ten, and I got to see all sides, he didn’t hide to much from me. I have many stories, but I understand things today, differently.

Most importantly is the fact that I know today that many of us in recovery have made peace with our parents, some of us haven’t. I realize today that my relationship with the real parent, the power “Greater then Me” is the most important relationship that I need to find humility too honer. The universal power of light, has given me the gift of life, honest love, children I adore a beautiful grandchild, friends that teach me and love me, music, art, and an awareness of how awesome and intense the LIGHT has become for me. The knowledge that others can have their religions, which I respect, but for me, I live with the power of undeniable, spiritual principles, that carry me to a place that substances never did. I love his/her grace, compassion, courage, and recovery. Thank You Father/Mother of Light and Universe. Peace Out. M

There are so many divided entities that float around in my mind, it’s always trying to appease one with another, constantly searching for the ways to silence the screaming loudness of self will. I look for those false images that, I think will just calm down the unrest of the chaotic revelation that wages war against the voice, of sound reasoning. These images manifest into real time, if I let them, always thinking that, it, that thing, she, them, will fix the hole in me.

The problem with all this is, that I let myself believe that those things are real, and they will fix me.  I tend to forget that the outside things never stilled the inside thoughts, thus leaving behind broken pieces of brain matter all over my emotions. Felling that there are too many parts to put back together, it’s too much, I can’t, poor me, self pity, self pity, self pity, thinking in my-self afflicted wounds, how did I get there, and I don’t deserve this, POOR ME!

I read somewhere, that we should not create false images, and worship at there feet, but isn’t that what I constantly am doing, when I make the Power vague? As the distraction has a firm grip on my moments perception, I lose sight of the truth. The truth doesn’t console the restless urge, it’s not physically pleasing at that time, I want pleasurable sacrifices, I want to be in distortion and drama, all the while knowing that when it’s over, no matter how long the pleasure lasts, it’s only momentary, and when I return to realism (real time) then, I’m empty, nothing to catch me as I fall into the place where I was before, trying to quite the “scream”.

For me the search for the real solution to all distractions is finding a constant in me. That place where I know all, is at should be, and that all will be taken care of in time, and the knowledge that  I must seek for the higher thought or consciousnesses. I must remain present always, because the lower thought of SELF, always failed me, I must live in faith and not the false. All things I express are from a place of my experience, I can’t assume that everyone understands or has been affected in the same fashion I have, but if you do God bless you because I know this, to my core.  I was told that the journey is long, the search is deep, the universe is vast, and that the only constant is the GOD of Light and power, and for me to be constant is to consecrate on the union of myself and the power! Peace Out. M