Where the humility for me always lies, is in the recognition of what my short comings truly are, I don’t believe that I necessarily find all my short comings in my character defects, the ones that are apparent to me now, are different from what they were in the beginning. If I am sincerely trying to change, I need to work on change. These shortcomings that I suffer from are that I don’t always pray enough, I don’t meditate enough, I don’t help enough, I judge myself and others too often, I make too many assumptions about God, and the list goes on. My failures however are also lessons that give me awareness of myself, I know some may not examine or want too, but at this point of my life I must. There are too many past transgressions, not pray to help me change those actions that live in me, that will keep me in the ignorance of me. I know this step has changed me to a degree, how great that change seems to others I don’t know, but I know how big it is to me. I continuously have to take action and more action on those shortcomings, so I can learn how to change those character defects that stand in the way of my helping others. It is in that service that I see how great those changes truly are. I know that if I find a moment of humility, I can find more moments of gratitude. In the Beatitudes it states that “The meek shall inherit the earth”, to me meekness is not weakness, and it is learning Humility and Humanity.
Peace Out: M

Never in my life did I understand what that was. Forever In thought that all love came with conditions; in friendships it meant you watch my back and I’ll watch yours. In relationships with the opposite sex it came tied to sexual pleasures, in family it was an assumed responsibility, with my parents it was they should because I was their son, in business it was what I get out of it. This was such a distortion for me; I never knew how to love without conditions. It didn’t become apparent to me that this was the reason, that my entire life, in abuse was the absence of the true definition of the concept of love. As time goes by and I live in sobriety, I have come to realize the true intent of the 12th step is to carry a message and practice the spiritual principles in all of my affairs the true intent is unconditional. When I try to carry a message, I have to deliver it with no expectations, assumptions, or fear and I can only do this with the faith that there is a greater power behind me, that does love me unconditionally. As I look back this has all been about the realization, that there is love all around me and if I love without expecting anything more than to have awareness, that there are no guarantees in life, except if I can truly love unconditionally, that love is always returning. I must have hope that only way to carry the message is to make an honest effort to come from the same 12th step message of unconditional love.
Peace Out: M