I look at my past and I know that I must look back not with regret, but look back with gratitude of what God has delivered me from. The years of abuse that I subjected myself to, are a testament to the goodness of the Power of the Universal Energy. I have put myself in harm’s way most of my existence on this planet; things that I now know have given me insight to an insane mind, living in the depth of self will and delusions. Without the gifts of the experiences I have survived, it would not have given me the knowledge of self, that some say is wisdom, I say this is just insight to my flaws and failures, and my strength. The place I speak from is just from the witnessing of my truth and honestly facing my defects, my fears, my bad judgments, and my expectations, also for the denial of the existence of the Power. After finding out WHAT I am, not WHO I am, the knowledge that came with identifying that I was an Alcoholic that suffered from a disease of mind, body, and spirit, just the act of becoming aware of this, started leading me to awareness of powerful information, that led me toward the path of a Higher Awareness of myself and God. This term I use for the consciousness of something I don’t try to comprehend, define or understand, but in my soul I know has been there for me. For me indications and signs have been there all along, but I was too blind to acknowledge its presence or existence, I was blinded by denial, ego, pride and fear. There are things even in sobriety that I have done not out of bad intentions, but out of emotional reactions that cause others pain, but I know that I must never regret the past but must ever forget it, because in the acknowledgement of my past and present experiences, there is always a forgiving factor, that the Power Greater Than Me, has always had my back, even when it’s been up against the wall where there was room for nothing else, except the Angel’s Of Light, protecting me from my greatest enemy, the darkness of me.
Peace Out: M