When you’re trying to live on a more Spiritual basis you are always challenged by emotions, and judgment. I have been sober for many years, but no matter how hard I work towards sobriety, the task is never ending. There are things in private life, public life, and business life, which cause anger, jealously, insecurity, resentment, and the ultimate true end FEAR. This for me is the most defining reason, to continually pray and meditate in all circumstances, good, bad, or indifferent. When I fail to do this it leaves me venerable to all kinds of pitfalls. When things are at there best, is when I stand in the most peril. My head can play tricks on me and can keep me in denial or sloth of doing the things necessary to stay in the right frame of mind, even through the years of practice and effort; I can slip into old habits that lead to a state of belligerence, or “Dry Drunk”. A person even though he isn’t drinking, in this state, is at risk to the dangers which come from selfishness, anger, and fear. I have experienced this in myself and others, when we drop the connection we suffer, that is the only way for us to stay emotionally sane and sober. I am sure that there are some who would disagree but, from my experience with myself I must stay connected on a daily basis. To me The idea of praying was a useless endeavor, it never seemed they were answered, my prayers were always foxhole prayers, “God if you get me out of this jam”, I promise to never do this again, however as soon as I came to, the rationalization began, “I knew that I could get out of this one, that whole prayer crap is nothing”. It wasn’t until I surrendered to the willingness that it might work; things started manifesting in an entirely different way. The first prayer I was instructed to say was, God or whatever power I could believe in, please relieve me of the obsession to drink and use, and the obsession started to lift within a short time. I had been abusing for 30 years on a daily basis, and for the compulsion to stop, was the first sign that maybe it would work for me. When an Alcoholic like myself can see just that much, the world starts to change, and for me the bigger changes occurred, by the cultivation of my connection to Power Source. Today I ask for God to let me hear a message of depth and weight, teach me how to love and be loved, remove obstacles that in my way of being of service to others, and PLEASE keep me sober one more day, to me these are miracles.
Peace Out: M