I have been in a state of anger in the past week not because I let anyone make me that way, but because of my being uncountable with my health. When we are young and invincible we don’t consider the long road we have to walk in life, we throw away pieces of ourselves like there are always spare parts. As we go along we start to notice little things at first and then it just seems to grow bigger and more. Then each time illness pops up it begins to to take our every waking moment and then our prospective on how things are good or bad depends on just how much room is left in our mind to cope, and bring about the fact that I did most of this because of the choices I made, and then it’s a bitch to bring myself to the realization of how to stay serene in those moments.
I have had to learn the value of everything that surrounds me that makes my life beautiful and good. This is hard to find at moments, but in those moments of fear I must find someone who needs help, comfort, and some form of love, outside of those in my circle of family and friends. That’s the essence of of the power that we are created from. In my vision of my life we are created for that very purpose, that’s why music and art is conceived so we can dance and admire, just the purest form of human joy and if there is someone who isn’t enjoying the experience, how can I motivate and help to find that joy. When I am isolated within my own self I won’t make that effort, and I have come to see that this is a very vital part of to centering myself and ripping out the anger and discomfort by taking me out of the equation and replacing it with you. Self centered in nature I have had to fight for that experience and the fight is with me. I pray that I can surrender in this battle and that I will always reach past my own perception. M